Author: duskydream
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Gratitude- Day 1
Grief, stress, change, falling outs with loved ones, and other ugly things caused me to dwell on what was missing in my life. I began a cycle of throwing myself into things that didn’t make me happy because I believed its what I had to endure for the time being and I believed it was…
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I’m With You
“Be who you needed when you were younger.” I found this quote while grieving the loss of my mother, pregnant with my first girl. That in itself, not fucking fair. My son, just starting 2nd grade, had to be told that he’d never see his best friend again. My husband had tried to explain to…
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Protected: Not Even You
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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Very Little
I never realized how much I valued the feedback of my mother until I no longer had access to it. I never realized how much I relied on my mother until she was no longer there. I never realized how much we all took her for granted. All the little things were really so big.…
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Wrong Number
My son received a new phone for his birthday. His phone number changed so after set up and before handing it off, I messaged all his contacts alerting them of his new number. Accidentally, my mom’s (his grandmother’s) number was included in the texts. A minute or so later, my mother’s number responded “Wrong number.”…
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Flop
I was attempting to walk into Walmart with my 3 kids when this occurred. I made it halfway. Walmart parking lots are always huge. It was 100+ degrees outside. I was due to be at work in a couple hours so I was in a hurry. My work shift assignment was a private party for…
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This is really 40
No doubt, this is bound to be the toughest birthday yet. I’m turning 40, the age that everyone dreads. “Over the hill.” Closer to death. I feel that. In all of my bones. My daughter took her first steps on Friday! The boys and I were so excited, yelling and screaming, hoping to encourage her…
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Father’s Day
I have mourned the loss of my older brother for over 20 years. He took himself away from us by suicide. I’ve mourned the loss of my mother. Cancer robbed us of her. And what I have come to realize is I have also been mourning the loss of a person just as much a…
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Change
This has certainly been a year of change. After so much frustration, struggle, etc., I pronounced I would take control of the matters I could change. I am determined to no longer allow life to make my decisions for me. We are not as helpless as our mind can lead us to believe. Now…. to…
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The Tears Tonight
My 4 year old has been breaking down quite a bit lately. When his dad leaves for work, he’ll go into the ugly cute cry saying, “Daddy, I’ll miss you.” Or when I lay with him before bed, sometimes he’ll go into the same ugly cute cry, saying, “I don’t want you to die.” After…
