Grief, stress, change, falling outs with loved ones, and other ugly things caused me to dwell on what was missing in my life. I began a cycle of throwing myself into things that didn’t make me happy because I believed its what I had to endure for the time being and I believed it was the right thing to do. I became my own worst enemy. We’re still not entirely friends yet.
Fast forward to this weekend. I just finished working on a personal project that moved me. I have chosen to begin to dwell on what makes me feel grateful. I have no plan. Just a decent ability to write and an eye that can find the beauty in the every day… If I am being mindful.
I miss my vitamin D exposure and I’m rarely outside anymore it seems. The rain is holding us hostage in California! As I sat in my booth today at the airport, the sun began beaming through the windows. The heat and energy felt magnificent! It transported me to summer in the late 1980’s. I’d swim all day in my dad’s pool. Then I would jump out, run to the front yard, and lay down on the bare sweltering concrete near where my dad was weeding his lawn or trimming his bushes just to talk to him. That warm, calming energy is forever one of my favorite feelings.
The energy seemed to follow me today. At home, I glanced out my window to witness this moment.
Captivating. Beautiful. Peaceful.
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.”
– Haruki Murakami
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