2021 is 19 days in. Yet, it’s easy to forget we’re in 2021. Time seemed to come to an abrupt interval last March when the world shut down. The effects of this sudden world closure will be apparent for many years to come.
My family and I were successful in avoiding this frightening virus for almost a year. Unfortunately, I tested positive this past Thursday. By then, it seemed too late to isolate. As a stay at home mom who is around my kids every minute, their exposure was inevitable. My husband believes I should have isolated myself away from everyone. He is now showing symptoms even worse than mine. I feel bad. But, how realistic is this idea that I remain upstairs in our room while he works from home, cares for 3 kids, 2 dogs, and a house? Honestly?
I’m so thankful that my symptoms were mild. I’m grateful that although my kids showed symptoms, they lasted a couple days and were also very mild. I’m so thankful that my pre-existing asthma paired with COVID didn’t put me in the hospital. That’s what I had been fearing the most.
Being in quarantine seems simple enough. You can tackle the various to-do list items you previously didn’t set aside the time to complete. What better time to purge? What’s stopping you from starting that backyard project you’ve been talking about for the last year? Well, COVID is! Part of this virus is the overwhelming exhaustion that no medical expert can prepare you for. To describe the sensation as best I can, you feel a bit hopeless.
The symptoms for me, have continued to linger. My cough is kind of brutal. And I’m so tired. The quarantine makes your mind go a little dark. When you couple that with being around the same people 24/7, day in and day out in a house that appears to be shrinking by each eye blink, your motivation, your mood, and your sanity takes a steep and unpredictable dive into a gloom like no other.
My survival, figuratively speaking, has relied heavily upon what I’m able to look forward to in the future. We have back to back Phoenix trips booked for my son’s soccer tournaments next month. The fate of these trips rests delicately in the hands of a fucker better known as COVID. There have been so many moments robbed from us because of this virus; trips cancelled, events cancelled, life experiences CANCELLED. I spend more time in my day researching Air BnB’s and Las Vegas resort pricing then I have ever in my life. I can’t get off the couch to move my laundry from the washer to the dryer. But, I sure as hell can plan an entire girl’s trip synced up to when my potential negative COVID test might come to be.
Bottom line, I recognize how necessary it is to be grateful we’ve stayed healthy and sane this long. Furthermore, I am well aware how fortunate we’ve all been to have the time together that we’ve had. Personally, this pandemic allowed us to pay off a lot of debt, get our finances on track, get a lot of necessary work done to our house, and begin to place more value on what matters while recognizing what shouldn’t or hasn’t. I have a better understanding of my husband’s normal work day. I have a vision much more clear as to why certain tasks I relied on him to complete were so daunting to him.
Survival instinct is kicking in. Future projections seem to be the only thing keeping me afloat. I’m picturing a heated pool, a location within driving distance, and a life preserver.
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